We’re just sitting here on a very normal and business-professional April 20th and, for whatever reason, our minds are blazing with fresh ideas.
For example, yesterday at F8 2017, Facebook unveiled two new virtual reality cameras: the x24 and the x6. These devices are capable of capturing 360 video at a very high resolution and converting that into three-dimensional VR scenes that you can actually walk through and explore.
It’s very cool technology and we’ve covered it in detail already. Today, however, today we’re noticing something about it that we missed on the 19th. Namely that these two cameras are obviously long-lost relics from the Star Wars Universe.
Seriously, this is a series that loves high-tech spheres more than ALMOST anyone else in the galaxy.
Marksman H-Combat Remote
Apparently Obi Wan wasn’t training Luke at all. He was just trying to get a Kickstarter video together for his new VR startup. Smart play. I hear Naboo is dropping some serious credits into immersive tech right now. Force ghosts can still raise a respectable series A.
The Death Star
Maybe Rogue One wasn’t that depressing after all. Apparently, Galen Erso is alive and well and working on Facebook’s hardware design team.
Somebody better check the x24 for secret exhaust port weaknesses before a squadron of Google Jump insurgents take it out.
“Okay Google, turn off my targeting computer.”
Some of you might be saying “that’s a cop out; those two things are basically the same.”
Well, don’t blame me. Blame JJ Abrams. He never responded to my tweets asking him to make the big threat in Episode VII an army of evil Yoda clones voiced by Mel Brooks.
But nooooo, apparently Star Wars isn’t Star Wars if a giant sphere doesn’t blow up at the end.
It all makes sense now. The whole “oh I’m a cute little droid; watch me use my lighter like a thumbs up” routine was just one big ruse. BB-8 is actually capturing high-end VR footage for the First Order. Just one more reason why R2 will always be the galaxy’s number one droid.
Imperial Probe Droid
This explains why in the remastered editions George Lucas added the words “From Facebook” on the back of this little guy during that Hoth scene.
I swear I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these cameras suddenly hatched and this thing popped out. What better way to seed our planet for an invasion than to disguise your eggs as must-have technology? Well played Rathtar’s, well played.
Imperial Interrogation Droid
If you’re lucky enough to own one of these cameras someday and a syringe suddenly pops out, don’t resist. Just submit and tell
master mister Zuckerberg where those rebel Snapchat scum are hiding.
If any of you can think of any others let us know in the comments below. We have a feeling lots of VR folks are feeling particularly creative today.