Google Reveals Hyper-Immersive Haptic Feedback System For Virtual Reality

by Joe Durbin • April 1st, 2017

Google shocked the tech world with the April 1 announcement of yet another landmark achievement in the emerging field of virtual reality. Google’s VR team brought immersive experiences to the masses with Cardboard. It built upon that initial success with more advanced headsets such as Daydream and groundbreaking platforms like Tango. Today, Google is changing the game for VR yet again. From this point forward nothing will ever be the same.

Say hello to Haptic Helpers.

Haptic Helpers represents a landmark bio-mechanical solution that vastly improves VR interaction. Combining the limitless creativity of the human mind with a carefully curated arsenal of bleeding-edge immersive tools, Haptic Helpers have become the last word in total virtual presence. In Google’s own words:

We’re taking VR to the next level with Haptic Helpers. Using a modest set of everyday tools, these VR virtuosos can simulate more than 10,000 unique experiences, all from the comfort of your own home. Smell the roses. Listen to the ocean. Feel a fluffy dog!

We’ve recently begun in-home user tests and are now seeking additional trusted testers. Interested? Sign up now.

UploadVR was lucky enough to be sent an early build for the Haptic Helper system. As you can see from the below images, this technology is nothing like what we’ve seen before.

google haptics

There’s what appears to be some sort of hydro-pressurized aquatic immersion system, a packet of combustible aromatics that somehow turn heat into a portable scent replication system, and a frighteningly powerful handgun-stye device that’s able to increase the temperature of the air itself (make sure to keep that one away from any small children).


These are the official specs for the first generation of the Haptic Helper Developer Kit:

Height: 6’2’’

Width: fluctuates, especially around the holiday season.

Processor: Human Brain

Battery: this model runs only on a combination of water and a variety of consumable goods, most of which can be found in an average person’s refrigerator. 

Battery life: 4-6 hours for optimal performance. 3 days or so until it dies completely.

Ports: Redacted

In a world-first exclusive, UploadVR also had the chance to speak with the first Haptic Helper DK1 himself.

In trademark Google fashion, the DK1 was unwilling to comment on some of the more earth shattering potentialities for the Haptic Helpers. However, his mention of recreating urban environments indicate that the first ever city-scale VR experiences may soon be on the way from Google through this new platform.

Google will begin shipping the DK1 to early adopters “soon” and should have a new, more portable model ready in about nine months.

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What's your reaction?
  • This joke sucks. It’s too obvious that its fake. A good april fools requires something at least somewhat believable.

  • VR Geek

    So darn funny! Nicely done!

  • perspective2025

    In an age of fake news and click bait dominating Internet media, it really isn’t funny for a media site like Upload to do this. Real journalist despise fake news in any shape and form including as jokes.

    • axlrosegnr

      You’re EXACTLY what makes this funny.

      • polysix

        It’s not funny. It would be ‘funny’ if it wasn’t April 1st (maybe). April 1st is SO fucking obvious now it removes any sense of humor from the ‘joke’. It’s like unwrapping a present on Xmas day, not exactly fucking unexpected.

    • Okay.

      • Young Bastid

        Forget the haters David

        • perspective2025

          This was constructive criticism. Lots of online content prioritize abundance, viraless, social media integration, micro targeting, etc. in content over details, research, meaningfulness, etc.

    • Get Schwifty!

      You’re first mistake is confusing any of these sites which clearly are designed to sell ads as “journalism”….

      • Joe Durbin

        You defend us up above and then slash us down here? You’re a tricky one good sir

  • geoffmccabe2

    While this is funny, the writer is also outlining the extreme difficulty of creating a haptic experience that simulates reality. The technology of today’s haptics is a tiny fraction of what’s needed to simulate reality’s toolkit of various sensations. Today’s scientists aren’t even close to creating a simulation with this range, so this type of experience is still very much in the realm of science fiction.

  • fuyou2

    Utterly useless fucking article just to get hits,, fuyou2 uploadvr

    • Joe Durbin

      Not sure if fuyou2 is your name, a coded curse word or something else. Personally, I chose to believe it’s a term of endearment. In that case: fuyou2 too friend. Happy April Fools!

  • Get Schwifty!

    OMG – people are seriously not getting the clear joke of this, particularly on April 1st? Jeeze people get a life….

  • polysix

    not sure why anyone bothers with April 1st crap anymore. I stay off the net cos it’s so lame, none of it is funny, it’s just trash clogging up websites. Sound like a killjoy? hey I loved April 1st as a *KID* but after decades of this shit it all gets a bit samey.

  • perspective2025

    This was meant to be constructive criticism as opposed to an insult.

  • Eleni Ioannou

    “Ports: Redacted” is HILARIOUS